Our Baubles, Ourselves
Continued
Earring on the Side of Caution
One fine day in February 1994, I purchased a pair of small hoop earrings at a flea market in London. They were silver, modestly ornamented and still small enough to hide. Above all else, they had no pesky backing to lose and no vicious posts to dig into the side of my head. I put them on that day and rarely removed them for more than ten years. Three weeks ago one of them broke.
With newly naked lobes, I decided it was the perfect time to research the latest trends in earring fashion. To see what's really hot, I turned to the ultra-glamorous world of women's professional tennis. Female tennis players are my style icons because not only are they perpetually well turned-out, they're bas-ass athletes as well. I learned that as far as earrings go, bigger and longer is definitely better, Anything that dangles and has repeated shapes, particularly vaguely leafy or butterfly-like ones, are super hot at the moment. You can even find a great variety within my strict pricing guidelines.
Of course a lot of these exaggerated styles weigh more than a Ford Focus and make enough noise to announce your entrance from four blocks away. If you're planning to spruce up your lobes with the latest styles, you might want to pack some ibuprofin.
|
Once my mother had armed me with a collection of spangles and baubles, I started to realize how remarkably draining it is to really finish off an outfit. Not only does it take extensive planning and effort, first thing in the morning no less, the jewelry itself can be really heavy. Also, equipment like necklaces and bracelets moves on its own constantly. You have to be very vigilant to keep pendants centered and wayward clasps hidden. And don't even get me started on decorative pins. It's like they conspire with your clothing to make you look as lopsided as possible. That's not all. Earrings clank against telephone handsets and rings interfere with writing instruments.
As you can tell, it doesn't take much for my old accessory paranoia to resurface. As lovely and enchanting as my jewelry may look I still wind up wondering, am I wearing it or is it wearing me? Despite all the encouragement and genuine compliments I've received from friends and strangers alike, I just don't think I'll ever fully be at peace with my accessories. They're fun to play around with sometimes, but I wouldn't like to meet them in a dark alley.
