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Copyright 2004 by N. Julius |
Heidi-lites What could be more girlish than a day at the salon?
When you don't succeed at something, you pretty much have two ways to respond. You can either avoid the activity completely in the future, assuming that you'll always be hopeless at it. Or you can convince yourself that you just weren't focusing on it. And you can try, try again. I've made passing attempts at girlishness in the past, only to have my efforts fizzle out in the end. Each time I tell myself it's not that I'm actually bad at the whole feminine thing. It's just that I have a hard time focusing on girlish pursuits because they're so fantastically tedious and dull. So it's actually the girlishness that's at fault. I'm still infallible. See what I did there? Buoyed as always by a swollen bubble of self-confidence, I decided to start my journey to the center of the girliverse with the relatively easy project of having my hair done. But just to prove I'm not a chicken, I picked the girliest person I could think of and tried to mirror her hair. And the girliest person I could think of was Heidi Klum. In case you've never met me, it's important that you know I don't have a whole lot in common with Heidi Klum. She's blonde. I'm a brunette. She's a gorgeous underwear model. I'm a brunette. She's the pinnacle of girlishness. Me? I'm a brunette. The point here is that I was willing to go with the full-on golden Heidi hair in my pursuit of girlishness. Now I know I didn’t exactly go for broke on the first girlie project here, so in order to up the ante I dragged my friend Lolita along with me. Because, honestly, if it gets more girlish than two friends having their hair cut and colored together… well, I guess I’ve got 11 months to find out about it. Lolita came into this adventure with some hairstylist issues, namely that all hairstylists everywhere want to give her the Friends haircut from, like, 1992. She left this adventure with hairstylist issues of a completely different nature, but wait – I’m getting ahead of myself here. I have a hairstylist who has been doing my hair for a few years now, but he was all booked that day. I’m pretty sure that affected the final outcome. A new hairstylist will naturally tend to be cautious, not wanting to incur the wrath of an unfavorably styled customer. I’m told many girlish women respond to bad haircuts extremely violently. Had I been working with my normal guy, he would’ve known that my attitude toward hair tends to be, “[shrug] it grows back.” The new guy took a look at my tresses and asked a question for which I was completely unprepared.
“So, how blonde do you want to go?” |