Going Bald

Melt All Your Cares Away

The shaving industry has peppered public consciousness with myriad flights of fancy. Every week it seems there is a new magical shave gel that will somehow lessen the impact of dragging a blade across your skin. There are special razors that will reach under your skin with their flat metal fingers and lift your hair out for a closer shave. And then of course there is the on-going arms race that has seen the number of blades swell from one to three, flirting with four in the near future. None of these little exaggerations, in my opinion, even comes close to the sheer, bald-faced lying of the depilatory cream industry.

According to this industry, depilatory creams are easy-to-use and have long-lasting results. They're packed with all sorts of “skin conditioners” and “nutrients.” Best of all, depilatory creams are painless and leave your skin free of cuts. The reality of depilatory creams is absolutely nothing like this.

Depilatory creams come formulated for specific body parts. There is leg cream, bikini cream, facial hair cream and something called “body hair” cream. The facial hair in particular raised a red flag for me. If these creams really are so easy and fun, why aren't they marketed to men? Does the industry think men are attached to the ritual of shaving? Of course not. They just know that men won't sit around for ten minutes burning their faces off.
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