I didn't either, Lyle. But all that changed.

It seems that the nuts and bolts of a manicure vary widely depending on what salon you frequent and what type of treatment you request. Some manicures involve encasing your hands in paraffin wax. Others involve masques. Almost all involve nail polish.

My first manicure began with a sea salt rub of some kind. The manicurist then led me to a sink and helped me wash my hands. The change was instant. My hands felt softer and oddly refreshed.

Next, I sat at the manicuring table and soaked my hands in a little bowl with hot rocks in it. I don't know what they did to these rocks besides heating them, but it felt good. The manicurist rubbed a lotion into my hands and gave me a wee hand massage. At this point, I'd say my hands felt almost too soft. It was as though my skin was so stimulated it was being annoyed by its own folds.

The manicurist then set about cleaning my nails and cuticles. She picked up the file and asked, “is soft square OK?”

Huh?

“It's very stylish.”

Whatever.

The “soft square” involves filing down the sides of the nail and leaving a gentle arc across the top. It makes the nail look thinner and more ovular. After a good buffing (which involves rubbing the whole surface of the nail with a puffy square thing) it was time to choose a polish color. I chose pink.

“What kind of pink?”

What would you recommend?

“You want me to choose?”

Sure, I trust you.

“OK.”

She chose a delicate color, a soft blue-tinged pink that allowed the tips of the nails to show through as white. She started with a clear coat that I assumed was a fixative. Then she applied two coats of polish and another coat of the clear varnish.

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