May I Have a Manicure?

Tips of the Iceberg

Dead Ends
When you start exploring the world of manicures, you hear an awful lot of commentary about the cuticles. It seems these translucent crescents as the bottom of your nails are key in maintaining proper finger health. Some say you should trim them, some say not. Still other claim you should moisturize them, push them back, or remove them all together. But while everyone seems to have an idea of what to do with cuticles, no one offered me an explanation of what cuticles actually are.

After his first manicure, Dave became convinced that his now-erstwhile cuticles had been some kind of connective organ shielding his nail beds from disease. Could that possibly be right? Do cuticles serve a biological purpose? If so, is there any danger in removing them?

For answers, I turned to the most authoritative source I know: my dad. My dad is a successful physician who knows pretty much everything there is to know about the human body. So I asked him point blank, what the heck is a cuticle?

“A cuticle?”

Yeah. I mean, is it, like, some kind of vestigial claw sheath or something?

“No, no, no...”

Is it connective tissue?

“No, look, a cuticle is just... well, I don't know.”

For answers, my dad turned to the most authoritative source he knows: the dictionary.

“Cuticle: the hardened layer of the epidermis around the finger or toe nail.”

So you mean...

“That's right. It's just dead skin.”

If you ask around about acrylic nails, you'll hear all kinds of horror stories. People will tell you that false tips ruin your real fingernails, are impossible to remove, and act as a conduit for all manner of distasteful infection. Of course, most of these people will never have worn acrylic nails. If they had, they might well tell you something completely different. In order to gain some insight into this most-polarizing of beauty props, I sat down for a chat with my friend Monica.

Monica works on the cold side of my office. That means that each day while I gently roast on the flames of the building's southern exposure, she sits shivering under parkas, cardigans, scarves and a hat. Yet up until about six months ago, no matter how frigid the conditions, a set of fabulous acrylic nails would always peek out from under Monica's multiple layers of insulation. The nails truly were little works of art; miniature paintings, sometimes with sequins or paste-up jewels attached. She wore the false nails for a little more than a year. So here was my chance to interview a real, live survivor of acrylics.

So what made Monica go for the falsies?

“I was tired of having no nails. I wanted my hands to look more feminine. I think it is a sign of femininity, having nice nails. I just wanted to make them hard, so I could open a beer bottle without ripping one off.”

And before you laugh derisively at that comment, reader, remember: at least she's not resorting to opening beer bottles with her teeth. Seriously, that hurts.

Monica then described the process of applying the nails for me. First, the natural nail is scuffed up and a plastic tip is attached. The acrylic comes in a power form, which is mixed with a solution of some kind to form a thick paste. This paste is what the nail technician paints on the surface of the nail and tips. The acrylic mixture dries quickly, in about 10-15 seconds. Then the filing process starts.

“It's like when you're making jewelry,” Monica said. “You have to go through so many processes of filing and buffing to get the real shine.” The more filing and buffing, the more smooth the nails will be. Some salons use filing machines; other, perhaps more exclusive and expensive salons, only file by hand. This finishing process can take anywhere from 15 to 45 minutes.

As the nails grow out, their wearer will have to go in occasionally for what's called a “fill.” The existing acrylic is filed down somewhat and more is added to the areas of naked nail. Monica estimated that she was in the salon every two weeks. “You don't realize until you have fake nails how many salons there are in this city.”

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